Its about making memories worth repressing
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
