I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
