and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
