the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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