playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
