I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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