fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
