I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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