Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
