I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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