Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
