What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
