Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
