Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
