that's an acceptable place to lick
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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