Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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