I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
