Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The best revenge is premature balding
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
