Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
3pm strippers are depressing
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
