problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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