i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
