I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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