he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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