I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
