am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
