It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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