I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
