Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
