i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
