I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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