Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
