Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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