You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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