It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
