Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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