the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
