we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
