good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
