I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
