Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
