did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
