i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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