You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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