I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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