i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
