I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
