Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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