It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So drunk its hurt
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The beer is more important than you right now.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
