The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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