Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
