Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
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