White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
