The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
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