we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
